12-12

7 years ago we lost our “Mema.” It’s hard to believe it has been that long. I was 20 when she died and I am so thankful that I had 20 years of memories to share with her. I remember December 12th, 2004 like it was yesterday, and her funeral a couple days later that was packed full of people who had loved and adored her just like her family did. I’ll never forget the funeral procession that included a massive line of cars following us for miles. We drove past her house and her Sonshine Gospel Barn that was her lifelong dream. It didn’t even seem like it was happening at the time. I still wish we could have had more time with her. She lived a wonderful 70 years, but I wish it could have been a lot more. It breaks my heart that she never got to meet my kids, and that they’ll never get the chance to really know such an amazing lady.


I don’t know one person who ever met her that didn’t like her. She made everyone feel so welcome all the time. I remember walking into her house and she was ALWAYS in the kitchen cooking and greeting everyone. There was never a lack of food!! Always 2 tables full of the most awesome food. I still can’t make her macaroni and cheese like she did even though I always try and fail miserably!!

Now when someone asks me something I want to say “Are you right sure?” And wish them a “juanderful” day. Or tell my kids how much they have “growed”

She was so funny and was always laughing. Whenever I picture her, I see her with a huge grin on her face and laughing. She was always happy, and even if she really wasn’t, she never showed that to anyone. Not even on her death bed.

I know that we all miss her so much. There aren’t enough words to describe how much she meant to all of us. Nothing will ever be the same without her, but her entire family still gathers at Christmas time with joy in our hearts, and we will never ever forget her.

She truly had a heart of gold.

Every end is a new beginning

Almost 10 years after high school graduation and 2 kids later, I get to finish what I started. After a lot of thought and planning, I found a way to make it work.. I am going to go to school full time in January so I can finish faster than taking 2 classes at a time and NEVER seeing my kids. The last couple years have been completely exhausting to say the least, and my kids aren’t getting any younger! I also happened to stumble upon a GREAT opportunity to be a nanny for a doctor I work with now. I have been wanting a job like this for so long! The best part of all of this is that I can bring Cooper with me when I watch her kids, and still go to class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am excited to get to spend time with him! I have barely gotten to see him for the three years he has been alive. I am SO excited and can’t wait to get started again full time. It’s amazing how much your perspective changes over the years. Now I actually welcome the homework and studying… I like the challenge. I love sitting down and writing papers and waiting anxiously to get my grades. I feel like I can do anything after what I’ve accomplished the last several years.


I am definitely going to miss parts of my job- mostly the people I work with. If the job wasn’t so stressful I’d stay there forever. It has certainly been a challenge dealing with people on a daily basis and having to put on your happy face even when people are being downright hateful. There were so many days when I just wanted to run out the door because someone insulted me so bad, or just go sit in my car and cry. But I always knew I had no other options and 2 little boys at home who needed me to keep going. I’ve had to toughen up A LOT and do things I never thought I could do. I’m glad I got the experience of being in the medical field for over 4 years, but I am ready for the next phase in my life.
My aunts Connie and LeeAnn will be happy to know that I am going to school for photography! They have urged me for many years to go into photography because it’s what I really love to do. If anyone has ever been around me for more than 5 minutes, I always have my camera in hand! I am hoping to actually make a living out of what I love to do, and if not, then I’ll always have a degree to fall back on (in Mass Communications) and a lot of work experience as well. I am going to minor in English also! My 2nd love..

So, here's to a new chaper in my life-a full time student- a full time mom, and a part time nanny. I cannot wait to start working towards something and learning along the way, and getting to spend more time with my kids. They have been and always will be my greatest accomplishment! I am ready for many more accomplishments to come.

And one of my favorite verses that I post all the time!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” –Galatians 6:9

To Cooper on his 3rd birthday

Cooper Gray,

Today you are 3 years old! What a crazy and exciting year it has been! You are starting to talk so much more and learn so many new things. You are as stubborn as ever, but so very loving. It makes me so happy when you say new things like “goodnight Mama!” and sing and dance in the backseat with Carter. Nothing makes me happier than when I get to pick you guys up after a long day and you come running up to me. And then you both ask for treats!

You are the most precious little thing and I hope you have the best day at daycare ever. But try not to bite any ! : )

I love you little Coopie!

 9-8-08

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Carter and New beginnings

In a couple days I am going to send my first baby off to school. That is so hard to believe. It used to annoy me when parents would say “ the time just flies, etc”, but I guess you don’t really understand until you have your own and you’re dropping them off at Kindergarten all of a sudden. The first 5 years are over. No more baby or toddler years which come with their own sets of challenges. Now is the real thing.


I know that he is going to do so well. He is such a smart and inquisitive little boy. He seems to make friends really easily too. I’m sure I will be having a way more difficult time dropping him off than he will have!

My hopes for Carter- that he will meet some good friends, and that he will always BE a good friend and a good example. I have so many great memories from elementary school, and even up to high school with great friends. To this day, when I see friends from school we can sit and rehash every year back to Kindergarten and recite funny things that happened way back when.

I hope he continues to learn a lot and ask millions of questions, and make people laugh. His teachers at daycare tell me they love his laugh, and that you can hear it through the whole building. I love that about him. Several of his teachers have told me recently how sweet he is, and how much they love him. That is so nice to hear, and I hope he stays that way!

So, Carter- it’s here!! The beginning of an era- the next 13 years are yours to learn and grow and make so many memories. I am so excited for this new journey that I am sure will have lots of ups and downs, deadlines, early mornings, bus rides, accidents, surprises, etc… But we’ve already been doing it for 5 years, so I know we can get through anything. You are such an amazing boy with so many talents and gifts already. I can’t wait to see what else is in store. I love you and good luck!!

Happy Birthday Carter.. thoughts from a proud mama

5-11-11

Dear Carter,

Today you are 5 years old.

I can’t believe how fast those 5 years have gone. I wish I could go back and do it all over again.. those first few moments when you were born, all of your firsts, even all of the pain and hard things we have gone through. Because we have made it together. I am only strong now because of you (and Cooper!) You are such an amazing little person. So full of life, silly, headstrong, and loving. Every day you randomly say "Mama, I love you" about a hundred times, and so many other cute things. You are so smart and inquisitive and you are always keeping everyone on their toes. You are so special to so many people… anyone who knows you is very lucky, and anyone who doesn’t is truly missing out. I love you with an everlasting love.

Happy Birthday Carter Alan Henry!!!

And these are some of his cute lines I’ve saved over the last year..

• "Mama, I love you so much.. I keep saying that because I just love you so much."

• "Mama, you never look ugly, you always look pretty." Made my day!! Even coming from a 4 yr old..

• Carter is cracking me up today.. Just now he said " Cooper, let's pick up our toys, our house is a MESS!!" Earlier he said, "Cooper, let's go play in our room, Mama wants to relax." hahaha


• Carter just said.. "Cooper, quit screaming, you're gonna wake up our neighbors! " wonder where he's heard that one. haha

‎”Mama, Cooper's a wonderful boy."


"Mama, you know what? Some people are bad people, but we are good people."

Another year older, another year wiser.

“Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.”


Wow, another year has come and gone. It’s hard to believe what kind of shape I was in a year ago. I was working 2 and sometimes 3 jobs just to get by and it was a constant struggle. It still is, but now I have one really good job, and now I’m back in school, almost another semester down amazingly. The last year has really been kind of a blur, particularly the last 4 months. I never would have thought I would be able to work a full time job, and take care of my kids alone and go to school. I don’t even know what possessed me to enroll in classes, but now I’m glad that I did.

Along with everything else, Cooper had a lot of trouble in 2 different daycares and that was a constant source of stress. And I do mean constant. I’m so glad that he now has a great place to go and I never have to worry about him. Carter is loving his daycare too, and looking forward to Kindergarten in August. They have both grown so much and are such happy kids. Everything I do is for those 2… whenever I don’t want to wake up in the morning, and drag myself through another 12 hour work/school day, I think about them and what kind of example I’m setting. That is what keeps me going.

The quote, “It’s always darkest before the dawn” comes to mind. There were times when I just wanted to quit my job and pack up and leave. I don’t know where I’d go, but I didn’t want to work so hard anymore. I’m glad that I always kept going and that’s what I’ll continue to do. Things are looking up, thanks to a lot of patience and good people in my life, and I’m looking forward to my 27th year on this planet.

And one of my favorite quotes:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. –Jeremiah 29:11

Be Truly Glad

“So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while.” 1 Peter: 1-6

This is one of my favorite verses ever. I will often say it to myself when I’m trying to get through a hard day like today. It’s weird how that happens and I find myself mumbling to myself for encouragement. Whenever I’m at work I dream about the kind of life I want to have someday… my life isn’t bad now, but it’s definitely hard to juggle everything and manage to be a decent parent at the same time. Whenever I’m being yelled at by some mean old man, or people are bossing me around, giving me dirty looks, etc… I just have to remind myself that this is only temporary. Tonight Carter was begging me to jump with them on the trampoline right when I finally got home from work. I told him I didn’t want to and he said “Why Mama, did you have a long day at work?” He knows me too well! I ended up jumping on the trampoline with them, work clothes and all, watching them both with such joy in their eyes. And it was worth every second.


This has been a hard couple months for us with everyone being sick, and the daycare situation, but it could always be so much worse. At least we have a roof over our heads, a great family, and I have a job. Alot of people don't have any of those things.


I know that one day my hard work will be rewarded… that, I am sure of! "This too shall pass"

Until then, I’m going to practice being truly glad!

too tired to think of a title..

I hate being sick. I know that everyone does, but I can't afford to be sick. I had to miss another day of work today because I was up all night puking. I'm so glad my boss is nice and doesn't make me feel horrible for calling in.. She knows I must be really sick and desperate to call in.

My kids are completely on their own tonight. And I do mean completely. I can just now sit up long enough to type on the computer. I feel like I have the flu, except I don't have all the respiratory symptoms, just the body aches, and I am soooo weak. It actually makes me laugh a little to think about how our evening has gone.. Dinner tonight was a couple slices of bologna that Carter got out of the refrigerator for both of them, and some Oreo cookies. My poor kids. If only Cooper could change his own diaper and dress himself for bed.. we would be all set.
Well, except for the fact that they are beating each other up and I can't be the referee tonight.. wish us luck! :)

Count it All Joy.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything…”

-James 1:2

Whenever I was little, my Mom always played these tapes in the car for my sister and I anytime we would go anywhere. They were called Adventures in Odyssey from Focus on the Family, and they were these short stories that told a bible lesson. I remember them SO vividly.. today, the one called “Count it all Joy” came to my mind.

My day looked a little something like this.. And this is how all Tuesdays and Thursdays look. Wake up at 6:45 am, drag 2 boys out of bed (one whom is really cranky like a teenager), dress them, feed them breakfast, and somewhere in there, dress myself (which basically consists of throwing on some clothes that I picked up off the floor) and head out the door by 7:45 am.

Drop them at their daycare about 7:50, where Cooper proceeds to hang on my leg and cry. My heart breaks into 1,000,000 pieces, and I then run to my car, and speed to work trying to break my record to see how fast I can possibly get to work. 8:01- I made it!

There is usually a line of about 5 patients waiting for me to open the doors, check them in, and put on a smile while my hair is looking like a rat’s nest, my clothes are hideous, and I’m still half asleep.

Lunch is at noon if I get lucky, and run to Sonic or some other equally unhealthy place and eat in my car, call to check on my kids at daycare and get “the bite report” on Cooper… drag myself back to work instead of just driving myself the other way and never coming back! Haha

Work until 5:00, which includes running around the building meeting various deadlines at a moments notice, and dealing with really rude people who think my life revolves around my job.

Then I go directly from work to Biology class, where I stare into space for 2 hours, and wonder just how confused everyone else in the class is. My teacher is from India or somewhere and I can understand about every fifth word he says. He likes to call on me at least 3 times every class… and I stumble through some pathetic answer and wonder how much everyone is laughing at me. I hate science with a passion and I’m just taking this class to pass it and get through it. 2 hours go by, my head is hurting, my body is hurting, I haven’t seen my kids in 12 hours, I’m hungry, I’m clueless, and did I mention tired?

Then I get home about 7:45, see my kids for about 15 minutes, and put them to bed.

Ahh.. silence at least. Time to write and do homework!

I live for the weekends… But just going through what I do on Tuesdays and Thursdays is enough to make me appreciate Mon, Wed, and Friday!! It’s amazing how that works. When I “only” have to work 9 hours.. and pick my kids up at 5:15, that’s like a break!

My point here is (and yes I do have one)… that even though things seem tough, we should remember to "Count it all Joy"… because as the verse says, everything we go through is teaching us patience and perseverance, which eventually has to lead to something greater.

I may be tired, but I’m alive!!… and at the end of a 12+ hour day, I have these 2 precious little boys standing at the front door in their underwear and a diaper smiling and saying “ Mama, we missed you!” That's makes it all worth it.

Count it All Joy!

Headaches, Homework, and Deadlines, oh my!

 

Have you ever tried to write a paper with a headache? Or better yet, have you ever tried to write a paper while 2 small children ran circles around the room, screaming? I have accomplished approximately 2 lines on a paper that is due this week, mostly due to the breaks I have to take about every 60 seconds to break up fist fights, check for blood, and send someone to their room.

”Mama, he hit me”! “Coopie, NO”! It’s a little hard to concentrate to say the least. By the time they finally go to bed, I don’t even have any brain cells left to try to sound remotely intelligent. My brain is basically shot by about noon from the work I do so I’m doomed by night time. I can barely keep my eyes open anyways!

Is it Friday yet?

Here goes Nothing..

My aunts suggested that I start doing a blog about a day in my life, so I figured why not ? What is one more thing on my plate in the grand scheme of things? Most of you know me, but if not I'll give you a little history. I am a single mom of two boys who are 2 and 4. I have basically always taken care of them by myself, and I don’t know any differently. Yes you read that right, and yes I still have a teeny tiny bit of sanity left.  I also work full time at a doctors office which can be extremely stressful at times... or 99% of the time I mean. It's a harder job than people think. It's not like I just sit and "answer phones" all day. I do answer phones (at nothing short of a stealth speed), check grumpy patients in and try to please them and everyone! I love the company I work for though (Integris) and I’ve been with them for 3.5 years now.

This semester, I started back at UCO to finish my English degree. I must have been out of my mind when I signed up for classes, but so far I am managing. I am doing well in the English lit class, but the Biology class makes me want to jump off a cliff. I never liked science in high school, so therefore I never learned ANYTHING. Even when I try to study for it, it’s a lost cause because my brain just doesn’t work that way! As soon as I get a couple more ridiculous classes out of the way, I’ll be onto all the English ones that I am good at.

Besides work, school, and kids, I like to write when I have time (hence the blog, although I’ll probably post new ones rarely) play the piano every now and then, hang out with my family, and shop at cheap stores like Dollar General and Goodwill with my sister. I’m always laughing, and I can’t live without music. That’s me in a nutshell.
Well, it’s almost 9:00 which means it’s time to clean, fold laundry, tiptoe around my house until my kids are finally asleep, do homework, and mentally prepare for a crazy week ahead…

ahhhh Monday morning comes way too soon.