28 Years Later

4-25-12 Thoughts on my birthday..

This year was another hard year, but it was also filled with some great memories as well. As I get older, I become more and more thankful just to be alive. It’s crazy how your mind set changes as you get older.

It is easier to find joy in the smallest things because you know that life is not going to get any simpler so you might as well enjoy what you can. 

"And you learn to build
all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground
is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way
of falling down in mid-flight."

This is a part of one of my favorite poems ever… It is a good reminder that we only have today. And even though we may plan for the future, there is no guarantee that it will ever go as we hope it will. Those of us who are Christians know that God has a plan for each one of us. Sometimes that line “God has a plan” annoys me to no end! Why can’t I see the plan now? Why isn’t the plan happening NOW?. Why does everyone else get all the things I want while I’m working so hard? Why do bad people get away with being bad? Etc etc..

Those are some thoughts that run across my mind.  

But every time I look at my life and the wonderful family I have, I am reminded that plenty of good things have happened to me. I was lucky to be born into a great family. And I’m thankful for those true friends who have always been there to help. 

Most of all, I am thankful for my 2 precious boys who always allow me to see the light at the end of every tunnel. Even though they make me feel like I’m about 58 years old every day (haha!)... Everything in this life is temporary.

The love between us is forever.

I am ready to see what kind of challenges I can conquer in my 28^th year.. and what good things God has in store. (hopefully more good than bad!)

The best birthday gift of all was hearing Cooper say "Happy Birthday Mama!" Especially because he had no way of knowing it was my birthday... he's amazing.

Happy Birthday Paizley!

Today a sweet little girl is 6 years old. In just a couple weeks, Carter will be 6 years old too. That is so hard to believe. I have only gotten to know her for a little more than a year, but I have SO enjoyed getting to be in her life. I wish I could see her more! My kids enjoy seeing her so much and they fight over her attention when they see her. 

She is the sweetest girl, and so very smart. She is excellent at spelling and likes to write letters to her Daddy all the time.

She is so silly and always makes me laugh! The other night at a restaurant, someone was in the women’s bathroom and I said “oh I’ll just go in the mens!” and she rolled her eyes and said “You probably don’t wanna do that.” It was so hilarious. She is very witty!

Most of all, she has the most amazing dad in her life who always takes care of her. He is a way better parent than I’ll ever be! No wonder she is so amazing too.

They are a great team. 

Happy Birthday Paizley! You are very special to me and Carter and Cooper. J

Out with the Old- In with the New

2011 has officially come to an end. That seems so hard to believe. Isn’t 2012 like years and years away? And supposedly the end of the world ? Makes me want to break out in the song “It’s the end of the world as we know it”..
2011 had it’s ups and downs, like any year, but I definitely think it ended well.

In January I met an awesome guy, Dustin, who has the cutest little girl who is Carter’s age. We got to do a lot of fun things together throughout the year that I never would have done by myself. He also happens to be a single dad who is doing things 100% alone which makes me respect him even more. Some days I would love to trade him my 2 boys for his 1 EASY girl though. Haha

I also went back to school and got 2 A’s in my classes while working full time. That was not easy at all! I typed papers while my kids tore apart the house and beat each other up, but somehow I managed.

February brought Oklahoma’s worst blizzard in… not really sure how long, but we got over a foot of snow. I think we missed about 3 days of work and school because it was so bad. The worst part for me was being trapped inside for so long with 2 crazy boys. We were lucky we never lost our electricity and no trees came crashing down on my roof. My parents finally came and picked me up so I could get groceries because we had no food, so that was a lifesaver.
March- I’m having trouble remembering anything that long ago.

April was my birthday- not really too exciting either. Carter started playing t-ball and he really enjoyed it! He was super cute, even if he did walk between the bases and stare off into space the whole time. He could hit the ball really well.

May- Carter turned FIVE! He had his party at Dynamo Gymnastics and he had so much fun. We also had a huge devastating tornado that went through Cashion and destroyed some of my very best friends’ houses. You never really understand what the aftermath of a tornado is like until you are standing there in the midst of it, sorting through someone’s belongings and there is literally nothing left. It was such a sad time, but also made me feel so thankful to be alive.

June- We went to the World Cup of softball and nearly died because it was over 110 degrees, but it was a neat experience.

July- We swam a lot, went to Fireworks in Edmond, and nothing else I can really remember. It was a REALLY hot summer as usual.

August- We went to Sulphur on a road trip and were shocked when we got there and none of the springs had any water in them. But we found one little tiny stream to play in and that was enough to excite Carter and Paizley.

The 19th was Carter’s very first day of Kindergarten. I walked him to his room in this giant school, it was mass chaos, and he sat down and started coloring. He did so well! That was the hardest day of my life! I was glad to know I wasn’t alone because all of the other moms were standing in the hallway crying and peeking in the classroom too.

August we went to KattFest and were definitely the most normal looking people there. It was a really good concert though!

September- Cooper turned three!

October- I’m starting to go blank on the months that were not that far away for some reason… Halloween- Carter was a transformer and Cooper was a homeless man. It was the funniest costume ever, and it totally fit his personality.

November- Thanksgiving with family was fun as it always is.. we had great food and then ended up taking silly pictures like little kids. (think 7 grown adults in a pyramid) That is always so fun! I also saw Gary Allen in concert and he was really good.

December- It flew by so fast I still can’t believe that Christmas is over!! OSU beat OU which was probably the highlight of the month, after Christmas of course. : ) My kids got a ton of toys, and it was a great Christmas. I kind of want to go back and do December over because I didn’t get a chance to enjoy any of it. December 23rd was my last day at work and I have really been enjoying my “time off”. I definitely don’t miss the long work hours. I actually have time to get stuff done, and think, and enjoy my kids.

So that was my year in a very quick summary… I can’t wait to see what 2012 will bring!

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from."

-T.S. Eliot

12-12

7 years ago we lost our “Mema.” It’s hard to believe it has been that long. I was 20 when she died and I am so thankful that I had 20 years of memories to share with her. I remember December 12th, 2004 like it was yesterday, and her funeral a couple days later that was packed full of people who had loved and adored her just like her family did. I’ll never forget the funeral procession that included a massive line of cars following us for miles. We drove past her house and her Sonshine Gospel Barn that was her lifelong dream. It didn’t even seem like it was happening at the time. I still wish we could have had more time with her. She lived a wonderful 70 years, but I wish it could have been a lot more. It breaks my heart that she never got to meet my kids, and that they’ll never get the chance to really know such an amazing lady.


I don’t know one person who ever met her that didn’t like her. She made everyone feel so welcome all the time. I remember walking into her house and she was ALWAYS in the kitchen cooking and greeting everyone. There was never a lack of food!! Always 2 tables full of the most awesome food. I still can’t make her macaroni and cheese like she did even though I always try and fail miserably!!

Now when someone asks me something I want to say “Are you right sure?” And wish them a “juanderful” day. Or tell my kids how much they have “growed”

She was so funny and was always laughing. Whenever I picture her, I see her with a huge grin on her face and laughing. She was always happy, and even if she really wasn’t, she never showed that to anyone. Not even on her death bed.

I know that we all miss her so much. There aren’t enough words to describe how much she meant to all of us. Nothing will ever be the same without her, but her entire family still gathers at Christmas time with joy in our hearts, and we will never ever forget her.

She truly had a heart of gold.

Every end is a new beginning

Almost 10 years after high school graduation and 2 kids later, I get to finish what I started. After a lot of thought and planning, I found a way to make it work.. I am going to go to school full time in January so I can finish faster than taking 2 classes at a time and NEVER seeing my kids. The last couple years have been completely exhausting to say the least, and my kids aren’t getting any younger! I also happened to stumble upon a GREAT opportunity to be a nanny for a doctor I work with now. I have been wanting a job like this for so long! The best part of all of this is that I can bring Cooper with me when I watch her kids, and still go to class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am excited to get to spend time with him! I have barely gotten to see him for the three years he has been alive. I am SO excited and can’t wait to get started again full time. It’s amazing how much your perspective changes over the years. Now I actually welcome the homework and studying… I like the challenge. I love sitting down and writing papers and waiting anxiously to get my grades. I feel like I can do anything after what I’ve accomplished the last several years.


I am definitely going to miss parts of my job- mostly the people I work with. If the job wasn’t so stressful I’d stay there forever. It has certainly been a challenge dealing with people on a daily basis and having to put on your happy face even when people are being downright hateful. There were so many days when I just wanted to run out the door because someone insulted me so bad, or just go sit in my car and cry. But I always knew I had no other options and 2 little boys at home who needed me to keep going. I’ve had to toughen up A LOT and do things I never thought I could do. I’m glad I got the experience of being in the medical field for over 4 years, but I am ready for the next phase in my life.
My aunts Connie and LeeAnn will be happy to know that I am going to school for photography! They have urged me for many years to go into photography because it’s what I really love to do. If anyone has ever been around me for more than 5 minutes, I always have my camera in hand! I am hoping to actually make a living out of what I love to do, and if not, then I’ll always have a degree to fall back on (in Mass Communications) and a lot of work experience as well. I am going to minor in English also! My 2nd love..

So, here's to a new chaper in my life-a full time student- a full time mom, and a part time nanny. I cannot wait to start working towards something and learning along the way, and getting to spend more time with my kids. They have been and always will be my greatest accomplishment! I am ready for many more accomplishments to come.

And one of my favorite verses that I post all the time!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” –Galatians 6:9

To Cooper on his 3rd birthday

Cooper Gray,

Today you are 3 years old! What a crazy and exciting year it has been! You are starting to talk so much more and learn so many new things. You are as stubborn as ever, but so very loving. It makes me so happy when you say new things like “goodnight Mama!” and sing and dance in the backseat with Carter. Nothing makes me happier than when I get to pick you guys up after a long day and you come running up to me. And then you both ask for treats!

You are the most precious little thing and I hope you have the best day at daycare ever. But try not to bite any ! : )

I love you little Coopie!

 9-8-08

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Carter and New beginnings

In a couple days I am going to send my first baby off to school. That is so hard to believe. It used to annoy me when parents would say “ the time just flies, etc”, but I guess you don’t really understand until you have your own and you’re dropping them off at Kindergarten all of a sudden. The first 5 years are over. No more baby or toddler years which come with their own sets of challenges. Now is the real thing.


I know that he is going to do so well. He is such a smart and inquisitive little boy. He seems to make friends really easily too. I’m sure I will be having a way more difficult time dropping him off than he will have!

My hopes for Carter- that he will meet some good friends, and that he will always BE a good friend and a good example. I have so many great memories from elementary school, and even up to high school with great friends. To this day, when I see friends from school we can sit and rehash every year back to Kindergarten and recite funny things that happened way back when.

I hope he continues to learn a lot and ask millions of questions, and make people laugh. His teachers at daycare tell me they love his laugh, and that you can hear it through the whole building. I love that about him. Several of his teachers have told me recently how sweet he is, and how much they love him. That is so nice to hear, and I hope he stays that way!

So, Carter- it’s here!! The beginning of an era- the next 13 years are yours to learn and grow and make so many memories. I am so excited for this new journey that I am sure will have lots of ups and downs, deadlines, early mornings, bus rides, accidents, surprises, etc… But we’ve already been doing it for 5 years, so I know we can get through anything. You are such an amazing boy with so many talents and gifts already. I can’t wait to see what else is in store. I love you and good luck!!